This is a post on how I came to be called “FNU Murali Subramanyan” in the United States of America and my experience trying to get that corrected.
In my most recent passport renewal, the Indian passport office decided to quote my whole name, “Murali Subramanyan” as my given name. Which meant that the space given for the surname was empty. When I went and checked with the passport office, they told me that all passports issued in India will have the father’s name first and the given name next in the same line. I now realize it was just an answer given be a lazy government servant. On that passport, I had my B1 US visa stamped and made a trip to the US and back with out any problems. But this was the first time I noticed FNU stamped next to my name. At the time, I just assumed that it was the many codes or sequences in the Visa that meant some thing meaningful to somebody. I never realized it was actually part of my identity. When I moved to USA for a longer work engagement on a L1 visa, yet again I noticed thee FNU next to my name.
The problems started when I went to get my Social Security Number. A very grumpy officer at the SSN office informed me that the name I entered on my I-94, the name on my Visa and the name on my passport did not match!! That was the first time I got to know that FNU was actually First name Unknown. He went ahead and completed the SSN application with first name FNU and last name MURALI SUBRAMANYAN. So my first legal document in the USA told me that my first name was unknown.
I did some research on the internet and found out that I was not the only person with this problem. Many people before me had gone through “The curse of the FNU” as one blogger called it. Surprisingly, this blog post is the best source of information for correcting the problem.
I am a very impatient guy when it comes to things that affect me directly. I wanted a way out of this mess and was getting restless.
The moment I got my SSN card I decided to go back to the SSN office to try and get my name changed in the card to show the name as given in the I-94. A rude lady told me that until I get my name changed in the passport, nothing can be done. She even went on to say that I will need to get a new visa stamp too. So, with my options cut down, I took a day off to go to the Indian Consulate in San Francisco. I reached the consulate at about 11 am and was quiet far in the queue. Many sites and regulations would advice to get the name changed in the passport by applying for a new passport. This is probably a good idea if you have time. But because I needed to get on with my paperwork, I choose to get an endorsement done on my passport for a name split as suggested by many in the blog post. This is probably the fastest and cheapest alternative. The lady at the passport service counter was really helpful and courteous. I had all the documentation ready, including a notary signed affidavit requesting for the name split ( Any friendly neighborhood notary and 5$ will get you an notarized affidavit ). She informed me that the endorsement on the passport will be done the same day and I would be able to collect the passport at 4pm.
Once I got my passport back, I got an Info Pass appointment with the USCIS office in San Jose to get my I-94 and immigration status verified. I had an early morning appointment, so I was among the first few who got into the office. The officer there checked the name on the passport and acknowledged the endorsement. She confirmed that all the necessary records with USCIS and homeland security were in order.
Now armed with a new found confidence that the SSN name change will go through, I went to the SSN office on a work day afternoon, which incidentally was my birthday. Mr. Thomas was by far the most friendly officer I met so far in any office here. He helped me with a smile and accepted my application and said “I am sorry I cannot bake you an birthday cake, but I will help you with your problem”. God bless him. He completed the process and gave me a case reference number in a printed sheet that I could use as reference if someone questioned the name again. The next day I went to the DMV office and cleared my written test. Now I have a temporary driving license with my name given correctly. Finally the legal documents in this land acknowledges me as first name Subramanyan, last name Murali :-)

I now am waiting for my new SSN card and my Califronia state ID to reach me. Wish luck for the DMV behind the wheel exam. If any of you reading this post have the same issue or similar issues, please do email me at mail [at] rmsguhan.com. I can explain things in more detail. Through this experience, I am pretty sure I am aware of most of the offices and procedures. Happy new year !

Everyone will agree that un-boxing is always a much more interesting part. I would like to call it the “rip open” syndrome ( that was not too intelligent ) Its the kid in you who acts out the opening the presents / gifts every time you want to empty the contents of a box and its always much faster to rip open a packaging than putting it together. So when our shipment did arrive, everything was unpacked within a matter of 20 minutes.
As I said before, our settling into the home away from home was characterized by the arrival of more stuff in boxes. In an economy that is defined by your purchasing power, we too were seduced into the materialistic craving . We were warned enough about the “do it yourself” lifestyle of the west, the Ikea nesting instinct. So this just means more stuff comes intelligently packed in cardboard boxes. So as we fed our craving, the boxes just piled up in our large storage room. Some stuff we needed, some we really could have done with out. There was some stuff that was just impulse purchase and few more luxury items. But every thing big or small came in a cardboard box.
As engineers we are rewarded for thinking outside the box, the reward for relocation is a lifestyle outside the box.

I think the reality of the relocation hit me somewhere between the 2nd in-flight Asian veg meal and watching a pale looking vampire trying to save the anemic looking Kristan Stewart ( ironic, I know !!). I started to fear the things I will miss being at home, I started to miss my family, I envied the fun times ill miss with loved ones and friends, I started to fear the possibility that I might get sucked into the band wagon of Indians settling in the US and I started to think whether I had thought this whole thing through. For that moment I know I was awake, because it was a moment of a lot of introspection and re-confiirmation that all this was part of a plan I had in my mind. I told myself that it was all for good, it was all for an experience. I will come back wiser, more knowledgeable and with more ingredients for a possible larger plan.

Its always amazing to see the flood of people at the USA immigration gates. Having been part of that queue 5 times before, I was acting out my “knowing it all” role trying to explain to the wife how the things go down in this joint. The on time baggage and pick up by a cousin was a comfortable welcome for us to San Francisco. I once again was trying to show off my knowledge about the terrain there by discussing the highway names and landmarks with my cousin. It was good that we landed there on a Friday, gave us the weekend to settle in. The Suite America apartment was well decorated. Its actually overwhelming to see the number of Asians in this land, specially Bay area. Walk down any street and it feels like a walk down MG road on a cold cloudy winter day. We constantly kept telling each other that we are just adding to the “Desi” crowd here. The temple and Indian grocery store close to our apartment did not do any good to shatter that bubble.

Its been 3 weeks since we stepped off that flight and I would say that the days have just zipped by. Its been tonnes of paper work, procedures, signatures, applications etc. In all this, the only thing that stands out is the amount of Paranoia that is built around everything here. For such a advanced country, there is way too much paper work for everything. Its as if everyone wants to save their tail from almost everything under the sun. Bootstrapping here is hard. You need an SSN when you start earning, you need a permanent address to apply for an SSN, you need a ID to buy a Telephone connection, You need your Drivers license to hunt for apartments, you need your house address and your SSN to apply for a Drivers License. In computer science, this would be a classical case of a resource dead lock. The other realization you have is government offices all over the world are similar in ways, though some are corrupt and some are not. A document processing will take atleast 10 days. The paperwork and procedures here really pisses you off at times. But then, for a set up where the system is stronger than the people, these things are bound to happen. The other thing you realize is that if there is one industry that thrives on all the paranoia in this country, it is the Insurance sector. Every single thing needs an insurance and some fee has to be paid.

The other thing I noticed myself doing in the 3 weeks is constantly trying to compare the life we had in Bangalore with the life we might have here. I tried to draw parallels to everything. In the process I tried to nit pick a lot, listing out negatives and positives. These are symptoms of being outside the comfort zone. When you start driving, its a whole new feeling as well. You need to un-learn everything you did while driving in India and start learning the art of driving on the “right” side of the road. Driving in India felt natural to me, it was an extension to myself. Here, when you consciously tell your self about the rules, you become a nervous driver. The ultra big and hopeless turning radius on the Chevi Malibu does not help in getting over the nervousness. But I am getting use to it, and starting to enjoy driving in the the controlled environment, a interesting change from the orderly chaos that is driving in India. If you dont drive, moving around here is really a pain. But since I have started driving, moving around the bay has been fun. The irritating electronic voice of Jill from the Garmin Nuvi helps tells us explore the neighborhood. Work in the new office has started in full flow. It has been fun and I enjoying learning new things. Cricket has started full swing. So the settling in process seems to have begun well.

As time passes, I am hoping the deadlocks, the nervousness, the dual income question, the paperwork etc all sort them selves out and we can truly start enjoying the stay here for we have already crossed over the seven seas, jumping over a few more hurdles should not be hard.

There was a quote from the movie Fight club, “Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need”. I would not fully agree to that quote because we worked in jobs we actually liked and never chased cars, but we did buy a lot of stuff and clothes. No one would compliment me for my dressing sense, but after I got married, my fashion sense did get a wake up call. I was willing to experiment a tad bit more than before, which meant more shopping. The apartment closets are like a bottomless pit, There always seems space for one more item.
As we got closer to the date, we started selling off all the big stuff in the house. All the things that we so carefully bought, matched and arranged in the house. It got quiet emotional at times, specially when we saw the recliner sofa go. It was a birthday gift, and was a perfect companion after a hectic day. Then the car, memories of our fond trips to Mysore came rushing in when the new owner drove it off. One by one everything was sold off and we reminisced about the good times. It sounds foolish in retrospect that we attach emotion to wood and metal, but then its not foolish that we can actually say that the stuff we bought gave us a good life in our first home.
When it comes to packing, all the sweet memories and feel good purchases bite you back as seemingly unwanted purchases. I had no idea we would have so much stuff coming out of the 2 bedroom Bangalore house. Every time we pulled out stuff, it almost seemed like it occupied the whole room. The packing material around did not help either. Stuff was folded or wrapped into big boxes, padded with bubble wrap or paper and sealed tight with crown relocation branded scotch tapes. We constantly got into an argument about what to take, what to pack into the suitcase, what will be immediately useful, what will be actually useful, what can be given off to some one etc. Bottom line, I hate packing, but I love traveling. In all our travels so far, we have traveled lite. So the thought of carrying so much stuff to a “trip” to the US is overwhelming. We are going away for over 3 years, so are we justified to carry so much stuff ??

After 3 full days of packing, we are officially done. 28 boxes and its a wrap !!

The Emerging leader program at work had a guest speaker who was there to speak about happiness at work. He said that one must not tag anything as bad, for there is always some learning from it. My take away from that was, Everyone is a genius in retrospect.
There is always a lot of emotions associated with change. I have a substantial change coming up in my way of life right now, looking forward to it, scared sometimes, anxious some other times, excited too. Bur emotion and logic seldom agree, we find our answers and convince ourselves with reasons. Resistance to change is not always from within, its from all around. The moment you announce a new direction, you will have people around you wanting you to pay caution to that direction. Some do it because of genuine concern, so do it for the pure sadistic joy of causing guilt and some do it fearing change in their own environment because of the influence you have. People who enjoy instigating your guilt are the ones you want to kick, but that is a whole different matter.
Letting go any set paradigm is really hard and I firmly believe it has nothing to do with what you are actually getting in return. Getting use to the change always takes its own time and once that is done, it becomes a way of life.
Once you have a good enough motive to make that change, then you are convinced. All other stuff just falls into place. So ultimately its just the idea of change that that one fears or challenges, but never the change itself.

There are many more historic places we will be seeing, like the Hagia Sophia, Blue Mosque, Hippodrome, the grand spice bazars and the famous Topkapi palace. We also plan to visit the Temple of Artemis, one of the older 7 wonders of the world.
I will blog about the places in detail when I get back, or if the computer gets the better of me, will blog from my hotel room :-p

Off we go!

3 cheers to sport :-)

Turkey is one of the must see places I have in my Bucket list :-) and I am really happy I have finally planned a trip there. My mother will be coming along, and its going to be really great because she is an ocean of knowledge. I am sure by now she knows a lot of history about all the places we are going to see in Turkey. So apart from the tour guide, I am going to have a walking talking encyclopedia with me :-)
Its also a much deserved break. Work has been hectic and have been working my ass of for a long time now. Plus some frustrations over the last few months to get over and some happy moments to celebrate. The vacation is coming in good time. Will unwind, forget work, forget routine and hopefully come back refreshed to make some important decisions in career and life in general.
More on where all we are going will come shortly