Everyone will agree that un-boxing is always a much more interesting part. I would like to call it the “rip open” syndrome ( that was not too intelligent ) Its the kid in you who acts out the opening the presents / gifts every time you want to empty the contents of a box and its always much faster to rip open a packaging than putting it together. So when our shipment did arrive, everything was unpacked within a matter of 20 minutes.
As I said before, our settling into the home away from home was characterized by the arrival of more stuff in boxes. In an economy that is defined by your purchasing power, we too were seduced into the materialistic craving . We were warned enough about the “do it yourself” lifestyle of the west, the Ikea nesting instinct. So this just means more stuff comes intelligently packed in cardboard boxes. So as we fed our craving, the boxes just piled up in our large storage room. Some stuff we needed, some we really could have done with out. There was some stuff that was just impulse purchase and few more luxury items. But every thing big or small came in a cardboard box.
As engineers we are rewarded for thinking outside the box, the reward for relocation is a lifestyle outside the box.

I think the reality of the relocation hit me somewhere between the 2nd in-flight Asian veg meal and watching a pale looking vampire trying to save the anemic looking Kristan Stewart ( ironic, I know !!). I started to fear the things I will miss being at home, I started to miss my family, I envied the fun times ill miss with loved ones and friends, I started to fear the possibility that I might get sucked into the band wagon of Indians settling in the US and I started to think whether I had thought this whole thing through. For that moment I know I was awake, because it was a moment of a lot of introspection and re-confiirmation that all this was part of a plan I had in my mind. I told myself that it was all for good, it was all for an experience. I will come back wiser, more knowledgeable and with more ingredients for a possible larger plan.

Its always amazing to see the flood of people at the USA immigration gates. Having been part of that queue 5 times before, I was acting out my “knowing it all” role trying to explain to the wife how the things go down in this joint. The on time baggage and pick up by a cousin was a comfortable welcome for us to San Francisco. I once again was trying to show off my knowledge about the terrain there by discussing the highway names and landmarks with my cousin. It was good that we landed there on a Friday, gave us the weekend to settle in. The Suite America apartment was well decorated. Its actually overwhelming to see the number of Asians in this land, specially Bay area. Walk down any street and it feels like a walk down MG road on a cold cloudy winter day. We constantly kept telling each other that we are just adding to the “Desi” crowd here. The temple and Indian grocery store close to our apartment did not do any good to shatter that bubble.

Its been 3 weeks since we stepped off that flight and I would say that the days have just zipped by. Its been tonnes of paper work, procedures, signatures, applications etc. In all this, the only thing that stands out is the amount of Paranoia that is built around everything here. For such a advanced country, there is way too much paper work for everything. Its as if everyone wants to save their tail from almost everything under the sun. Bootstrapping here is hard. You need an SSN when you start earning, you need a permanent address to apply for an SSN, you need a ID to buy a Telephone connection, You need your Drivers license to hunt for apartments, you need your house address and your SSN to apply for a Drivers License. In computer science, this would be a classical case of a resource dead lock. The other realization you have is government offices all over the world are similar in ways, though some are corrupt and some are not. A document processing will take atleast 10 days. The paperwork and procedures here really pisses you off at times. But then, for a set up where the system is stronger than the people, these things are bound to happen. The other thing you realize is that if there is one industry that thrives on all the paranoia in this country, it is the Insurance sector. Every single thing needs an insurance and some fee has to be paid.

The other thing I noticed myself doing in the 3 weeks is constantly trying to compare the life we had in Bangalore with the life we might have here. I tried to draw parallels to everything. In the process I tried to nit pick a lot, listing out negatives and positives. These are symptoms of being outside the comfort zone. When you start driving, its a whole new feeling as well. You need to un-learn everything you did while driving in India and start learning the art of driving on the “right” side of the road. Driving in India felt natural to me, it was an extension to myself. Here, when you consciously tell your self about the rules, you become a nervous driver. The ultra big and hopeless turning radius on the Chevi Malibu does not help in getting over the nervousness. But I am getting use to it, and starting to enjoy driving in the the controlled environment, a interesting change from the orderly chaos that is driving in India. If you dont drive, moving around here is really a pain. But since I have started driving, moving around the bay has been fun. The irritating electronic voice of Jill from the Garmin Nuvi helps tells us explore the neighborhood. Work in the new office has started in full flow. It has been fun and I enjoying learning new things. Cricket has started full swing. So the settling in process seems to have begun well.

As time passes, I am hoping the deadlocks, the nervousness, the dual income question, the paperwork etc all sort them selves out and we can truly start enjoying the stay here for we have already crossed over the seven seas, jumping over a few more hurdles should not be hard.

The Emerging leader program at work had a guest speaker who was there to speak about happiness at work. He said that one must not tag anything as bad, for there is always some learning from it. My take away from that was, Everyone is a genius in retrospect.
There is always a lot of emotions associated with change. I have a substantial change coming up in my way of life right now, looking forward to it, scared sometimes, anxious some other times, excited too. Bur emotion and logic seldom agree, we find our answers and convince ourselves with reasons. Resistance to change is not always from within, its from all around. The moment you announce a new direction, you will have people around you wanting you to pay caution to that direction. Some do it because of genuine concern, so do it for the pure sadistic joy of causing guilt and some do it fearing change in their own environment because of the influence you have. People who enjoy instigating your guilt are the ones you want to kick, but that is a whole different matter.
Letting go any set paradigm is really hard and I firmly believe it has nothing to do with what you are actually getting in return. Getting use to the change always takes its own time and once that is done, it becomes a way of life.
Once you have a good enough motive to make that change, then you are convinced. All other stuff just falls into place. So ultimately its just the idea of change that that one fears or challenges, but never the change itself.

Later, In college, there were a few college events I participated in, and like always was really nervous to speak into a mic. I had this strange thing in my head that my voice did not suit the way I look. I always wanted to be one of those great speakers, people who were clear and insightful in their talks, people who could handle the crowd really well. I use to admire how easy the lecturers found it to teach in a class. The very thought of standing in front of an unruly engineering student group gave me the shivers. I attended a few conferences and a few pre placement talks from various IT companies coming for campus hiring. I always noted how well those guys presented and the confidence with which they spoke. I had almost made up my mind that it was a talent that cannot be acquired, but one that you have to be born with.
I started working in Sify Ltd, Chennai. One always hears how the corporate industry is cruel to people who are not all rounders and have bad communication skills. I never considered my self to be bad with communication, so I decided to force myself to get over the stage fear. The first opportunity I got at work was to present a project design to senior executives in the company. Even when making the slides for the presentation, I kept re-assuring my self that it was just a small crowd and I should not be worrying. The presentation went off well, and for the first time, a senior exec told me that I have good communication skills. So I decided then that what ever chance I get or where ever I saw an opportunity, I would push myself to present. In quick succession, I got another opportunity to be part of the Freshers Induction team, which meant that I had to deliver a couple of orientation classes. I remember me actually being excited to present to freshers because I knew that I know more than they do about Sify. I started being a regular in these orientation sessions, and I was getting more confident.

When I joined Yahoo!, I had a lot of real geeky colleagues who were all into attending and speaking at conferences. I went with them to many conferences and Bar camps. In a Computer Society of India conference, I once again got a chance to present to a big audience. This was a first for me because I had never spoken at a public conference. In that conference, a junior student from the college I passed out from, NIE Mysore heard my talk and contacted me to be a guest speaker at the NIE technology festival. I was really excited to be able to go back to college and speak in front of my lecturers and juniors. It was such a rush getting on the main college auditorium stage and speaking. I had a couple of friends sitting in the audience to listen to my talk, and they told me that I had presented really well.
The other big presentation landmark for me was the time I had to speak in the Frontend Engineers Conference in Yahoo! Head quarters in Sunnyvale. This was the first time that I had to travel abroad to make a presentation. This was a dream come true of sorts. On the day of the presentation, it was both a sense of excitement and butterflies in the stomach. But I remember being confident of doing well. Since then, I have been making a lot of presentations in conferences and have been conducting a lot of technical training inside Yahoo!. After 5 years at Yahoo! I am informally called a Yahoo! developer Network Evangelist, constantly trying to evangelize Yahoo! technology in the IT industry. I have been part of Yahoo! Hack Day program as well, and this has given me the opportunity to speak in leading educational institutions. Yahoo! has been great because it has given me these opportunities over the years, and using the brand-name I have been able to get more attention as well.
I continue to be anxious and some time nervous before a Talk or presentation, the metaphorical butterflies fluttering wings still tickle my abdomen walls, but I dont feel them as much, making me a lot more confident and willing to get up on stage and deliver a talk. This is perhaps what I want to call “Caged Butterflies in my stomach“.

This is not the first time this is happening, last time I traveled to USA on business, I was forced to decide between attending a conference there and attending a close friends wedding back home. When I was in Jordan on business, I almost missed my dads 60th Birthday celebrations, managed to land up in Mysore a day before the event.
May be its just coincidence or may be its just that I notice these things more when there are many things to do and places to be.
Guess all this will just help me improve my time management and delegation skills. Experience ++
Wish me luck

Vishnuvardhan was born in Mysore and he also breathed his last in Mysore. His body was shifted to National College grounds for the people to pay their last respects. The final cremation was done in Abhimaan Studio located on Mysore Road. The actor was given a grand state funeral attended by his family members, film personalities political leaders and thousands of his fans.
Earlier, another popular kannada film actor and an icon in Karnataka, Dr. RajKumar passed away. Dr. Raj was titled “Natasarvabhouma” meaning “emperor of acting” or lovingly called Annavaru meaning Elder brother.

It sure was a loss to the film fraternity but the other thing common in their deaths was the riots and mob violence that followed. It is just sad that despite both of these legends being well known for their peace loving nature and respect for calm, their so called fans choose to show their grief through mindless violence and damage to property. It is hard to comprehend the rationale behind such acts. News channels covering the events showed mobs in thousands throwing stones, laughing and having a stupidly good time. Dr. Raj’s death had precipitated a city-wide reaction. Following the news of his death, there was major unrest in the city of Bangalore. The then Chief Minister, H.D.Kumaraswamy, later claimed that the violence was instigated by vested political interests. And as always the opposition blamed it on lack of timely arrangements by responsible organizations. Even an unofficial bandh was announced. More than 100 vehicles were burnt and many people killed in mob attacks and police firing.

The last rites for both of them was marred by large scale violence and protests by unruly mobs. Family members pleaded in vain in both occasions. It was very sad to see how Dr. Raj’s sons literally begging for the mobs to calm down. Vishnuvardhan’s wife kept saying how much Vishnu loved peace and would have wished to have a quiet non violent passing. But all this fell on deaf years on both occasions.

For many, I think its just a reason to vent their frustrations. Mob mentality takes over and one stupid act cascades into a full scale riot, loss of property and closing of business. Hapless police trying to control the crowds are targeted. There is absolutely no reason for the riots, its almost assumed that nothing will function in any such event. Every one in the city stay home in fear of violence. Family fear the return of their loved ones. Such state of fear for one persons death is not justified and is the sad reality we all have been forced to tolerate. Icons are remembered for their charm, mass appeal and personality. But circumstances forces us to relate violence and discomfort to the passing of such icons. May their soul rest in peace.